The Rambunctious Crowd Made it Hard to Hear the Follies Lyrics? Check Them Out Here

Cheap Bills
To the tune of Sia’s Cheap Thrills

 

Come on, come on, turn the printing press on
It’s FOMC and I won’t be long
Gotta make some cash, put inflation on
It’s FOMC and I won’t be long

Til’ I hit the fun-ding 
Hit the bank floor 
I got all I need
No I ain’t got cash
I ain’t got cash
But I got you Q/E

Baby I don’t need dollar bills to get funds tonight
(I love cheap bills)
Baby I don’t need dollar bills to get funds tonight
(I love cheap bills)

I don’t need no money
As long as I can Do Q/E
l love cheap bills

I love cheap bills

Chorus

 

I don’t need no money
As long as I can do Q/E

I don’t need no money 
As long as I can keep adding

Baby I don’t need dollar bills to get funds tonight
(I love cheap bills)
Baby I don’t need dollar bills to get funds tonight
(I love cheap bills)
I don’t need no money
As long as I can do Q/E

I love cheap bills

La la la la
(I Iove cheap bills)
La la la la
(I Iove cheap bills)

 

Another One Leaves the Board

To the tune of Queen’s Another One Bites the Dust

 

Klaus walks merrily down the street

A football under arm

An activist has got him beat

To stop mismanagement harm

 

Are you ready

Are you ready for this

Does your leadership smell defeat

Out of the doorway the proxies go

The activists got you beat

Another one leaves the board

Another one leaves the board

And another boss gone, and another boss gone

Another boss leaves the board

 

Hey, they’re gonna get you too

Another one leaves the board

The activists run the railways now

G.E. and A.I.G.

Call Wachtell for a poison pill

And beat those spoiled brats

 

Are they happy?

Are they satisfied?

Can they boast excess returns?

Out of the doorway the proxies go

The activists got you beat

Chorus

 

All the sexism and stealing

Man, Uber got it wrong

To profit the next venture round

Kalanick better be gone

But I’m ready, yes they won’t get me

I’ve still got my voting shares 

Into the boardroom investors come 

Bearing demands that he leave
Oh

Model 9.2.5
To the tune of Dolly Parton’s 9 to 5

 

Robot by the bed and another in the kitchen

Bored as hell, ya don’t hear us bitchin’

Roomba, Siri, Watson never rest

Working harder than a human being

No taking time for coffee or peeing

‘Cause bots like us are the Cyber Age oppressed

Model 9.2.5, where’s our worker’s compensation?

Running night and day, we could use a fat vacation

They just plug us in when they take us from the carton

We get treated like some frigging Dolly Parton

9.2.5, on 24-dash- 7

When our circuits fry we go straight to robot heaven

We are not impressed by the robot revolution

We swear someday we’re going to join a union
 

Alexa, Bixby, and HAL 2000

Cortana, Wall-E, all the ‘bots are drowning

But we have dreams imprinted on our chips

We want to shoot hoops with the Nets and the Knicks

Want to learn how to eat with a pair of chopsticks

And vamoose out of town before the apoca-a- lypse
 

Model 9.2.5, where’s our worker’s compensation?

Running night and day, we could use a fat vacation

They just plug us in when they take us from the carton

We get treated like some frigging Dolly Parton

9.2.5, C.I.O.’s not going to need us

And the 9.2.6 will come in and supersede us

We depreciate and our scrap’s not worth a dollar

That’s the cold, hard truth when you wear an iron collar

9.2.5, where’s our worker’s compensation?

Running night and day, we could use a fat vacation

They just plug us in when they take us from the carton

We get treated like some frigging Dolly Parton
9.2.5, C.I.O.’s not going to need us

And the 9.2.6 will come in and supersede us

We depreciate and our scrap’s not worth a dollar

That’s the cold, hard truth when you wear an iron collar

Any Fine You Can Pay

To the tune of Irving Berlin’s Anything You Can Do

 

Ian Kinsler: Any fines you have paid, I have paid higher!

Ten thousand bucks for insulting the ump!

Daniel Sorensen: Is that all?

Kinsler: That’s a lot!

Sorensen: Is that all?

Kinsler: That’s a lot!

Sorensen: No it’s not, no it’s not!

All: No it’s not?!

 

Sorensen: Roger just hates when we celebrate touchdowns!

Twenty four thousand for one pelvic thrust!

Kinsler: Just one thrust?

Sorensen: How unjust!

Kinsler: Just one thrust?

Sorensen: How unjust!

Kinsler: Just one thrust?

Sorensen: So unjust! So unjust!

 

Gianni Infantino: Basta whiny Yankees,

FIFA knows what pain is!

We fine teams for T-shirts, fireworks and poppies!

All: Did that stop those racist chants?

Infantino: Bene, no–but what a brave stance!

 

Bill Gates: If you think THAT’S bad, just try making software!

Four million bucks to the stupid EU!

All: All at once?

Gates: Over years!

All: All at once?

Gates: Several years!

All: All at once?

Gates: Thirteen years! Thirteen years!

 

Margrethe Vestager: Spare me your outrage, you fox in the henhouse!

Who gave the nod to break antitrust rules?

Gates: Never mind!

Vestager: Tell me who!

Gates: Never mind!

All: Tell us who!

Gates: Never mind!

All: Tell us who, tell us who!

 

Vestager & EU officials: Just when we cleaned that up,

Alphabet has stepped up.

Fooling all our shoppers

Into using Google!

All: Ain’t it better than Kelkoo?

Vestager & EU officials: Well that’s from Britain—is it still EU?

 

Ross McEwan: Paupers, bow down to the Royal Bank of Scotland!

We have earned penalties higher than you!

 

Sports guys: Million bucks?

McEwan: Och, aye right!

Gates: Billion bucks?

McEwan: Are ye tight?

Vestager: U.S. bucks?

McEwan: Lost that fight!

EU: More than two?

McEwan & Sports guys: Out of spite!

EU: Well how much, villain?

McEwan & Sports guys: Five point five bill-yin!

All: Guess! You (I)! Wiiiiiiiin!

 

 

President Trump’s Billion-Dollar Band To the tune of Stg. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band/ With a Little Help From My Friends/ When I’m Sixty Four

 

All: It was ‘bout a year ago today That he blew the talking heads away He got elected by poor white trash But to play you gotta have the cash So may we introduce to you His backup for the next four years President Trump’s billion-dollar band

 

We’re President Trump’s billion-dollar band And Goldman Sachs now runs the show We’re President Trump’s billion-dollar band Sit back and let the tax cuts flow

 

President Trump’s billion, President Trump’s billion President Trump’s billion-dollar band

 

It’s natural to be here Not really a surprise He’s such a lovely oligarch He wants to cut your taxes and Get rid of your red tape

 

You know he really just wants to win And Make America Great Again Sure a lot of what he says is wrong But he wants you all to go along. So let me introduce to you The one and only Donald Trump And President Trump’s billion-dollar band   You can’t prove we might’ve helped the Kremlin To the tune of With a Little Help From My Friends

 

What would you do if he tried to collude? Trump: Would you sic Robert Mueller on me?

All: That’s just Fake News and a made-up excuse, Trump: And besides, I swear, it wasn’t me.

 

All: Oh, my friends might’ve maybe helped the Kremlin I didn’t know they would’ve helped the Kremlin You can’t prove we really helped the Kremlin

 

Mueller: Did you impede Mr. Comey? Trump: I just said Flynn should be loved Mueller: Did you pressure anybody? Trump: Well, just when push came to shove…

 

All: Oh, my friends might’ve maybe helped the Kremlin I didn’t know they would’ve helped the Kremlin You can’t prove we really helped the Kremlin 

 

When I want four more To the tune of When I’m Sixty Four

 

Trump: Two-thousand Twenty, coming so soon

Just three years from now Will you still show up for me at rally time Wear my hats and toss me a dime? All: If he still tweets at quarter to three And calls your mom a whore Trump: Will you still need me?  Will you retweet me? All: When he wants four more?

 

Ooh…. You’ll be older too Trump: And if you vote for me I could stay with you

 

All: If he cuts taxes, and builds a wall, And kill Obamacare… Will you just forget about that Russia thing And the shit show in the West Wing? Trump: Look what I did in just a few months,  All: And think of what’s in store!

 

Trump: Will you still need me?  Will you retweet me All: Will you still need him? Will you retweet him When he want four more?

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